Will I ever get the chance to be a has-been?

Writing is frustrating. I have been writing a short story for JMag for the past few weeks, working on it the way you're supposed to take the LSATs - moving along quickly without sacrificing quality - and then all of a sudden, about a week ago, I just hit a block. Just like that - in one day, I don't know how to continue, I fail to make any more progress on this story. I even know what's supposed to happen, how it's supposed to end ("it" being simply the storyline - not the super-engaging, heart-pumping action that is not included in my short stories). But words simply stop coming out. It's like all of my creative mojo has left me - I'm a surgeon without fingers, a Hopkins student without a TI-89, a slidarian without silver tape. You get the idea.

But seriously.

Writing fiction doesn't come easily to me. I read the Rabbit series, Irving's novels, the current collection of Best American Short Stories, and every word is just the right word. Everything flows in the way only Updike, Irving could make it - whatever they choose to put down could only be the right choice. When you read a sentence, "In just one day Janice has acquired a widow's briskness, the speed afoot of a woman with no man to set the pace for her," you know it is Updike - there is no question that each of those words have fallen into the right slot, seemingly without effort. The sentence rolls off your tongue and you move on to the next one - you don't see his revisions, the misplaced adjective, the deleted comma he thinks twice about. But when I write, that is all that's in front of me, and every minute is a struggle to ponder that perfect next word that will make this piece mine, fluid yet laden...

Anyway, yadda yadda...in conclusion I think this story is getting submitted for next semester's issue of JMag, which doesn't matter either way because so few of my friends care enough read this stuff anyway. *sigh*

Here's something that would probably be appreciated more than my personal ramblings...a Britney Spears quote to wipe your brain clean of all that literary nonsense (what am I thinking??):

I have to tell the maid to buy diapers and get the pool boy to walk the dog? Can't I just make out with Kevin all the time? Being married sucks.

Hopkins Ain't Haahvaahd.

While cruising the Jolt, I came across an article that talks about the dissatisfaction of students at Hahvahd, saying that the elite Ivy League school ranks 5th from the bottom in terms of student satisfaction among a group of 31 elite private schools called the Consortium on Higher Education.

Hmm...I wonder what schools rated below Hahvahd...could Johns Hopkins be one such school?

(The names of the lowest four schools were not released. The article can be found here, and the list of 31 schools can be found here.)

My guesses for the other three schools from the list of 31 are: University of Chicago, Cornell, and MIT (the last two based on past suicide rates).

What really simultaneously amuses and irritates me, though, is that of course the article would be about Hahvahd, because if it was written about Hopkins, half the slack-jawed readers out there would be scratching their heads in utter confusion, wondering about this unknown "John Hopkins" school. But seriously...boohoo, Harvard. Would you like some cheese with that whine? I think Hopkins students are retarded for complaining, but we have much more reason to slit our wrists than anyone on the East Coast. (With possible exceptions of Cornell and MIT.) No one out-whines Hopkins, ya hear?? No one!

I fucking got evicted.

Dear all:

due to some unstable landlord/tenant relations, I've been evicted from a-chasm. It's a sad day for the bl0g, but as long as you guys keep reading it, all will be well. You might ask how this change of address affects you, the reader. And the answer is: it doesn't. Just click the "bl0g update" link in my profile like you've always been doing, and it will take you here, which is http://freelancer-redux.blogspot.com/

Check back soon for updates, and thanks for your continued support!

Amy