Holy Mother of Destruction

May 6, 2005 (I know, this was forever ago - please forgive.)

After 2 weeks of continuous working and zero sleep, the only way to celebrate the end of classes (and the last day of Logic!) was to drink nonstop from 3 in the afternoon until bedtime. Luckily for me, this was a plan that the always-illustrious Ryan Carroll (AKA Stumpy McNoleggs) was more than happy to execute. Needless to say, nobody was sober enough to piece together the missing details of this glorious day. All I can remember is the following, and then Stawek crying about his leg and asking us to take him to the hospital for the rest of the night:

5:30 - 6:00?
The group of us - all ridiculously ass drunk despite the presence of daylight - go 2 blocks up to the Schnapp Shop to buy more booze. My guess is that this was around 5:30 or 6:00 in the evening because there were a shitload of cars out on the road and it boggles the mind how none of us were hit. Stawek jumps on Chris Canary (for reasons that only Stawek will understand), and Canary proceeds to drop him on the sidewalk like a ton of bricks. In his defense:

Schwartz Reiter: I feel bad about making slawek a cripple though
Schwartz Reiter: but he shouldn't have been wriggling around like that
o0 freelancer 0o: oh is that why you dropped him?
Schwartz Reiter: well he was being good for a little while and then suddenly he just started writhing around like cats do when they don't want you to hold them any more
Schwartz Reiter: but unlike a cat, he wasn't prepared to land on his feet

That is my longest lucid memory. Bits and pieces of the rest of the day/night include:

- speaking Spanish to some freshman named Josh who later passed out
- forming a Kentuckiana bloc with Shaun
- eating bread, but not the crusts
- seeing Ryan magically appear in a wife-beater
- drunk-dialing
- various other things that are not appropriate for a classy, public forum

There's really no way I can do the day justice, so I can only leave you with this.

Also: I know I've really bailed on this blog thing, but I promise it'll be back after Wednesday, when I regain some shred of sanity.

Good luck with the end of the semester, y'all!