Come one, come all, and revel as I navigate the ups and downs of the mundanities of my life. Thus far, my stomach-churning has been kept to a minimum, but I can't speak for my readers. You'll be riveted as you're kept on the edge of your seat, wondering, "Will the next post be the one that makes me lose my lunch??" Excitement, she wrote!

Friday, July 01, 2005

Lightning Round, Part III

My blog entry ideas have been backlogged for weeks. There have been so many things I've wanted to write about but just haven't gotten a chance to do so. I still want to get to all of those topics, so I'm kind of trying to figure out a way to organize everything so I don't just have one giant overwhelming entry that covers way too many things.

Well, let's get the quick, superficial things out of the way first, shall we?

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According a Yahoo! Insider News article today, Bennifer II have officially wed secretly in the Caribbean. The article also confirmed Garner's pregnancy, which will no doubt be intricately weaved into future Alias episodes. I hope it's not something corny like Sydney's eggs being harvested to create a baby, like they did on the X-Files. But I'm sure it will be.

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The recent Supreme Court ruling on the issue of public displays of the Ten Commandments caused at least one D.C. citizen to publicly express his dissent. While driving with Sachin on a routine investigation run today, we spotted a comical monstrosity on the corner of Massachusetts Avenue and North Capitol Street. A man had turned his truck into a protest van of sorts, covering his vehicle with sheets of wood bearing various hand-painted political slogans. Homosexuality is a Sin! Abortion is Murder! End Judicial Injustice Now! No, it was not Bill O'Reilly driving the truck, just a disgruntled-looking old man. However, I do have to give him credit for the construction of the whole thing, which was quite competent-looking despite resembling a Mexican fruit-stand. I will regret for the rest of my life not having a camera with me.

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Speaking of Sachin, bless the man for introducing me to the Flaming Lips, especially their song Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots. Hopefully I will scrape together some money to purchase their album of the same name, but I fear this plan will go the way of The Office (it's been 3 months since I've intended to by that DVD set, and no I still don't own it).

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And thus ends Lightning Round III. Tune in again soon for highlights of my awesome internship, of which I've written practically nothing about so far. Also, I will finally get to writing my response to an article Matt David sent me entitled How Psychology Majors have Corrupted America's Youth. And lastly, I may say a word or two about a children's story idea I have in mind; or at least, a story done in the style of a children's book. However, copyright infringement may be a slight obstacle...you tell me: do you know what a magic bullet is?

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Another Democratic Defeat

To follow up our first guest entry, all I have to say is: for a 47-year-old religious nut, Rick Santorum sure knows how to play ball.

That's right - yesterday was the 44th annual congressional baseball game at RFK Stadium, something I did not even know existed (I'm a terrible Washingtonienne) until my Republican liaison and fellow Hopkonian Joe Lin offered me a free ticket. Despite having to sit with Joe's slew of conservative interns from the American Enterprise Institute (just kidding, Joe...or am I?), and despite the GOP landslide (19-10, ouch) it was a great time enjoyed by all.


A staged photo-op between conservative and liberal. See how strained our smiles are?

The Republican win was hardly unprecedented, as they have won eight times in the past decade. And that outcome was foreshadowed yet again this game very early on, when by the end of the first inning the Reps already had five runs. But that didn't stop me from cheering my little bleeding heart out everytime the Dems got a hit...or more likely, when they got a walk. (So we're horrible ball players, but John Ensign of Nevada is an even worse pitcher.) Since I was really the only lefty in our section, it was pretty hard to miss my obnoxious cheering and clapping and jumping up and down every time the Democrats got a hit, or caught a fly ball, or you know, managed to find first base without falling over or having their hands held.


Yikes! And it's only the 3rd inning.

By far the best-known player was Santorum. I really had no idea who the other congressmen were. (Remember, people: I'm a psychology major! I have an excuse for being under-informed!) He actually turned and waved at our AEI section because all the interns were yelling his name and basically getting giant erections every time he turned around. To give him his due credit, he did hit a couple of doubles...


Senator Rick Santorum's butt gets some face-time. I'm sure he finds this photo morally reprehensible.

I do have to make it a point to say that RFK is no Oriole Park. Not by a long stretch. But all in all, still a very fun and Washington-esque night. Nex year, let's try a little harder, no?

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Guest Column I: Ryan Carroll

THE LESSON TO BE LEARNED FROM SENATOR RICK SANTORUM

The only thing worse than coming in second in a two-man race is not being able to hate the person who came in first. For me and my fellow members of the token runner-up in today’s political arena (also known as the Democratic Party), the effect of this feature is roughly akin to having cancer slowly devour our spleens over the course of a four-year election cycle. In short, the Republicans have consistently managed to make themselves less detestable to us—their mortal enemies, and that more than anything else has been fueling the bitter political discourse in this country. With Helms, Thurmond, and Lott all gone, it has become harder to see the GOP as a bunch of racist bigots (even though the highest ranking elected minority official in the Republican Party is the Lieutenant Governor of Maryland). Since we out-raised and out-spent them in the 2004 election, it has become harder for us to paint the reigning right as a conglomerate of bloated, corporate and special interests. Facing this dilemma, all that I’ve been able to say for the last two years is “Thank God for Rick Santorum.”

As the self-appointed spokesman of the Religious Right in the U.S. Senate, the Republican senator from Pennsylvania has come to be viewed by me, and many Democrats over the last few years, as the new object of our hatred.
For meddling in the Terry Schiavo case, sponsoring the Partial Birth Abortion Ban, championing the Gay Marriage Amendment and tacking on funding for faith-based initiatives to every OMNIBUS Bill in sight, Santorum has become the sworn enemy of all who still treasure the Separation of Church and State clause in the Constitution. Yet my hat is off to the good people at New York Times Magazine for throwing me a moral curveball in the dirt and making me reconsider a man who is so easy for my liberal mind to hate. I find myself now grudgingly admitting that even I might learn something from the honorable Senator Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania.

The problem with Santorum is that he is a political absurdity that does not come about very often in the modern political age. Radicals have always existed and have always been detested on both sides of the isle, but usually their vastly different areas of pomposity can all be linked to one overriding feature: namely, their own self-promotion. In the age of CSPAN and the 24-hour news-cycle, holding office and being psychotic at the same time brings with it considerable benefits, ones which said radicals are typically all too eager to exploit. They have become good sport, and while hated by the opposition, they are often respected as well. Sure he’s a crook, but what Democrat wouldn’t want a bloodthirsty Tom Delay fighting for the Democratic cause instead of a more moderate, popular, respected, and altogether more spineless Joe Lieberman.

Where Santorum begins to complicate things, though, is when one realizes, as the NY Times Magazine did, that he is not out to advance himself. He doesn’t meddle in life termination matters and champion faith-based initiatives because is playing some political angle. He does this because he feels that he is right, and he cannot simply stand by and let what he believes to be the wrong decisions continue to be made. Santorum is a man with six children, one car, no money, and no family legacy, yet for virtually no foreseeable political gain, he is willing to risk the very position that he has fought so hard to gain against so many more privileged individuals. When public opinion strayed away from support of the Nuclear Option and the Schiavo involvement, Santorum stayed put, content to put his life’s effort on the line and stoke the Religious Right because he felt they were correct, not because they are the voting block that will one day elect him President. Ironically, despite all the friends I have in the PA political circles who will be injecting Red Bull directly into their veins in an effort to beat him next year, Santorum is in many ways exactly the kind of person that we should all be glad can still succeed in American politics. He is proof that there is still an open door on the hill for the Mr. Smiths of America to enter, and that everyone’s 15 minutes of fame is not an event, but an audition, with another 15 minutes coming in the next news-cycle if only one can get enough people to listen.

Anyone who knows me knows that I often speak of the two processes in American politics and how the one drives the other. There is an electoral process and a policy process, and for all intents and purposes, the policy process no longer exists. It comes into play only when a law is broken down into the fine details and legal requirements that ultimately determine whether a law will be effective, or even implemented at all. Senators and Congressmen don’t write these requirements and they seldom even read them. Often it is merely enough to support bills that say “Child” or “Patriot” in them and back that support up with the talking points of “accountability” and “national security.” Elections drive American government, and there is no policy decision, smart or stupid, that is made without its electoral value first being considered.

Santorum seems to have virtually no comprehension of this duality, and by conducting himself in such a manner, he has shown not only that he has the political instincts of a small-mouth bass, but also that he very well might not be in Washington much longer to champion the actions that he does. His reelection bid in 2006 will effectively be a fight for his political life, and the left’s insatiable desire to silence him before he can assume even more power is as universal as it is concerted. He has strayed so far from the moderate Pennsylvania constituency that elected him that he has made himself not only a target, but a vulnerable target—something the 3rd most powerful man in the Senate should never allow himself to do. (Seriously, outside of the testicle-deficient Tom Daschle, who would ever allow such a thing to happen?) This situation begs the questions: 1) Why has Santorum done this to himself? and 2) What lesson could anyone possible learn from this behavior?

The answer to both questions is perception, a hard-to-define trait that ultimately forms the cornerstone of the ideological split in Congress. Santorum possesses two things, faith in God and faith in his interpretation of that God, and this has endowed him with the enviable quality of being a politician who wants to be right, not one who wants to remain a successful politician. This makes him a formidable foe because even when all is lost, as in the case of the Nuclear Option, gay marriage, the Schiavo case, and quite possibly the 2006 midterms, Santorum will fight on because he has nothing to lose. This has set him on a course of perception wherein his utmost desire is to be a good servant of his God. This might seem foolish in the complex world of politics, but why else would the Democrats throw a man who is for all intents and purposes a Republican—Bob Casey Jr.—at Santorum in ’06? The perception might be foolish, but it is also attractive.

But what is far more important is the perception that Santorum has regarding the policy process, and I must admit, this viewpoint of his is starting to change my own electorally-driven religion. If we are to make an assumption that the 100 Senators in Washington are all there because they want to help as many people as they can, Santorum’s perception actually begins to carry some weight. Faith-based initiatives are small change as political angles. They don’t stir up the Right the way abortion does, and only over time are they able to gain enough power and support to penetrate the bureaucratic stranglehold on social services. Yet Santorum has recognized something that Democrats have not yet come to grips with: that Liberalism had its shot during the 1960s and it failed, and that government just might not be the proper mechanism to cure poverty, crime, and other social ills. In this light, Santorum’s willingness to back billions of dollars in appropriations for faith-based marriage incentives doesn’t seem so crazy. Welfare hasn’t made the poor better off, but when one is married, they are statistically less likely to be poor. So why not simply get people to marry?

It is a small example, and it doesn’t come close to touching the whole realm of faith-based policy in the federal government (a measure that now accounts for ¼ of the Department of Housing and Urban Development’s budget and 1/5 of the Department of Health and Human Services). However, it is something new. Something that hasn’t been tried, and something that Santorum seems to be willing to attempt if it means more people will be better off. Should he bite his tongue more on Schiavo? Absolutely. Should he consider contracting out funds to non-religously affiliated organizations for these social services and thus save the church-and-state separation? Probably. Should he look at the whole picture more and see that school-sponsored prayer is inevitably going to result in a lot of non-Christians getting beaten up in the school yard? Definitely. But should he conform to accepted norms and practices that have failed in the past, and now for the first time lack the political muscle necessary to prevent them from being overhauled permanently? Most likely, not.

If I lived in Pennsylvania, I would want to take Santorum down right now, and I will still readily lend whatever support my PA friends ask for to help accomplish the task. But I can’t help but think that by removing him, though it is a political necessity for the Democratic Party, we might end up killing a great deal of what we love about this country in the process. To replace him with a man only six inches more to the right, who has succeeded on the back of money and legacy that was given to him at birth, is not saying a great deal for the American Way, much less the treasured Mr. Smith. Beating Santorum won’t win back the Senate or revive the Democratic Party from its 2nd place slumber. We are going to beat him merely because he’s the only top-tier guy that we can beat. By 2008, the few remaining scraps of the New Deal (Social Security, Medicare) will have been eaten away and in such dismal times, beating up a vulnerable icon is sometimes all you can hope for. But to see Santorum’s defeat through Santorum’s perception, all we have done is commit treason against the highest principles we hold. All that the honorable Senator from Pennsylvania cares about, in the end, is his family and his faith. We are going to sling mud and defeat an impoverished Senator who is only doing what he feels is right, and we are not even going to replace him with someone who can demonstrate the same character with our own ideals. This is a dirty business, this democracy we cherish, and the Honorable Senator from Pennsylvania, who we all may hate but must be forced to respect, is likely to be our system’s next blood-soaked casualty.

Ryan Carroll will be spending the summer as an AFL-CIO intern. He has been assigned to work in Indianapolis, IN, to help the SEIU Local 3, currently on strike.

The original article, "The Believer" by Michael Sokolove, can be found in the May 22, 2005 issue of the New York Times Magazine.


Dear Readers:


you may notice that the updates have become more scarce as the summer progresses. I am keeping very busy with my 40-hour a week unpaid internship! On top of that, I do have a wide range of side projects that I am loathe to abandon. Primarily, right now I am working on a particular project that should be done within the week. It is my hope to return to maintaining this blog upon the project's completion. At least until the next project comes along.

In the meantime, I am trying to rope in some guest writers for this blog to mix things up a bit. Just as Dan Savage (of the sex advice column "Savage Love") knows to call in a pinch hitter from time to time to keep his column from going stale (although that doesn't seem to be a problem when you're dealing with diaper fetishists and penis shock toys), I too can understand the need for an occasional change in tone or opinion. Hopefully, a guest writer once in a blue moon will do the dual job of keeping this blog active even while I'm busy with other tasks, as well as injecting some new flavor into your weekly read.

Oh, who am I kidding? It's summer. You're all out playing frisbee on the beach or backpacking through central Europe. Life is hard for the lonely keepers (and guest-keepers) of blogs.

Love,
Amy